"The Biggest Myth About Desire in Long-Term Relationships, Debunked by a Sex Educator"
Originally Published 1 year ago — by The Guardian
Sex educator Emily Nagoski challenges the myth of spontaneous desire in long-term relationships, arguing that the traditional narrative of passion fading over time is wrong. She introduces the concept of the "desire imperative," which places too much emphasis on spontaneous desire and overlooks the importance of pleasure in sexual well-being. Nagoski advocates for centering pleasure over spark, highlighting the significance of responsive desire and the role of context in experiencing pleasure. She emphasizes that pleasure, not desire, should be the focus of sexual well-being, and suggests that worrying about desire is unnecessary when pleasure is prioritized.