Navigating the Uncertainties of a Fresh Divorce

A reader seeks advice on how to maintain a friendly relationship with her brother-in-law and his new girlfriend, whom she discovered had been in a relationship for years while he was still married. The columnist suggests that the couple may have had an understanding or were negotiating their marriage and outside relationships prior to their divorce, and advises the reader to keep her judgment in check. In another question, a reader asks for advice on how to end lengthy phone conversations with friends without causing animosity, to which the columnist suggests being honest about not enjoying phone conversations and using alternative forms of communication.