Navigating Politeness: Miss Manners' Insights on Intentions, Declining Invitations, Small Talk, and Performative Etiquette

A reader seeks advice from Miss Manners after being accused by a former friend of using etiquette as a means to an end. The friend criticized the reader's gestures of kindness, such as handwritten letters and homemade gifts, as insincere attempts to be liked. Miss Manners defends the use of etiquette as a performative expression of genuine emotion and consideration for others. She suggests that the reader no longer engage with the former friend's negative perspective and continue to practice kindness and thoughtfulness.