When a 20-Year Marriage Ends: Belle Burden Rewrites Her Story

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Source: The New York Times
When a 20-Year Marriage Ends: Belle Burden Rewrites Her Story
Photo: The New York Times
TL;DR Summary

Belle Burden recounts in a Modern Love interview how her seemingly flawless 20‑year marriage collapsed in March 2020 when her husband abruptly left after an affair, during Covid lockdown in Martha’s Vineyard. She later published a candid essay and a forthcoming memoir, Strangers, detailing the upheaval, telling their three children, navigating a divided social circle, and pursuing 50-50 custody despite pushback. Burden describes the complex emotions of being discarded by both her husband and an insular elite community, choosing honesty over discreet silence, reclaiming her identity by reverting to her maiden name, and confronting the mystery of why the marriage ended as she encounters her ex at the end. The interview also highlights readers’ and strangers’ responses, and the ongoing challenge of understanding a spouse who won’t explain the “switch” that flipped.

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